car seat battles

my two year old is a happy little man, an easy going and cheerful chap that is so hilarious and charismatic that he charms everyone he meets.  but this is not always the case. oh no.

we have bedtime battles, sippy cup battles, car seat battles and hold my hand while we cross the road battles. not often. but they do happen. and my little happy chappy turns into a teenager. strong willed. passionate and determined.

a battle of wills will usually commence.

until one day i decided to wait.

it was raining, it was nap time, we were in the car. he managed to take his arms out of his straps. i asked him to put them back in or we would have to pull over.
he said no.
i pulled over. i asked him again.
he said no.
i leaned back and offered to do it for him.
no.
he cried.
he wrestled and he stood his ground.
now, i know why he was doing this. he was incredibly tired. overtired. he wanted to sleep. but he didn't want to be in his car seat. he wanted his cot. not an option in the middle of nowhere.
i tried everything i could think of to make him put his arms back in the straps so we could get moving and he could nap. i even tried to {gently} force his arms in myself. he is strong.
so i sat back in my seat and said ~
'i know you are having a hard time getting comfy in your seat for naptime, when you feel ready, just let me know and we can get going again. we cant drive if you don't have your arms in the safety straps'

and i sat... i am pretty impatient, so this was hard... it was a good ten minutes until he calmed down. but he did and he put his arms in the straps himself and said ~ 'i'm ready now mummy'. i drove off and within a minute he was sound asleep.

i should add... we no longer have seat belt battles.

connecta, osha or tula?

since the devastating news story about the baby who died in a baby wrap recently, i have seen so many articles blaming babywearing and making out that it's dangerous etc etc.

one even stated 'your baby will die if you use one of these baby wraps'!! i mean... come on! sadly, babies die in cots, beds, cars and prams all the time, a lot of the time for no real apparent reason. there are no scaremongering articles slamming parents for using them!

now i'm not disputing that it can be dangerous... as can many things involving small people. but when done safely and responsibly, babywearing is positive and calming for baby and mum {and dad too!}.

i have various slings, baby carriers and wraps. i use them all depending on where i am going and what i am doing...

i have a ring sling which is an osha woven wrap. i use it for the school run for quick ups and downs. being one big length of fabric means it will grow with baby and can be worn in different ways to suit mum/dad/granny etc and of course baby.

i have a full buckle carrier which is a tula. i use this all the time. it is great for front and back carries, is fully padded along the waist band and straps so is comfortable to wear for a long time. it has a sleep hood which is detachable so perfect for snoozes! it is stunning in grey zigzags and is by far my favourite go to carrier.

i have another full buckle which is a connecta. this is my emergency carrier. it comes on the dog walk, trips to the park and food shopping! it folds small so fits in my bag or under the pram for that emergency carry when little legs can't carry on. it has a sleep hood, but as it is not as padded as my tula {and i should note, i have jaggy hips} it's not as comfortable for two hour long naps {although these are rare!}

i have a back pack style one and a baby bjorn style one. but these don't get used at all and don't come close to the ones above. the narrow seat in these mean baby hangs off me and makes my shoulders sore within minutes. the wide seat of the above carriers {and others in that style} spread baby's legs in the most supportive way {for baby and mum} that it makes babywearing not only convenient but comfy and enjoyable.

there needs to be so much more information available to new parents with regards to babywearing... i meet so many mums who think wraps and stretchys are primitive! or some who have only ever seen the high street carriers and didn't know there were other options...

my advice? buy a good quality carrier, use your instincts and follow the TICKS guidelines :)

mothers day craft!

bath bombs

i found this great blog the other day with some inspirational crafts... this one really stood out for many reasons... seasonal, kid friendly. mum friendly! can't go wrong :)

it was so easy to do with the kids and acted as a great sensory/messy play activity! but best of all, the ingredients were all in the cupboard! so here's how...

mix two cups bicarbonate of soda and one cup cream of tartar with a splash of oil and a few sprays of water. then add a small handful of dried lavender and another of dried chamomile (i used the contents of a tea bag)
mix until it holds together when pressed - you may need a few more squeezes of oil or sprays of water.
press into a silicone ice cube tray and leave for a few days... the longer you leave them the harder they go!

as i was giving these as a gift i made up some baskets (string/twine soaked in glue and wrapped around a small balloon, leave to dry and pop balloon!)

i loved these so much i made a second batch but added a drop of beetroot juice to colour it and stored them in this lovely jar in the bathroom!

there is nothing nasty in these so they are suitable for kids and adults! i am going to look out some fun animal or robot shaped moulds and make up a batch for the next party bags!

log fires and beds in cupboards

 for the last few months it has been, pretty much, work, work, work. seven days a week. working late into the night. we needed a break. the kids needed a break.  it was a last minute decision: nothing booked into the diary, fair weather forecast and the surf was up! so i did it. i booked two nights in a luxury tent on the dunes of the east coast of scotland.  no electric, no tv and most importantly... no laptop!

i like to think that when i am at home with the kids i am completely present with them.  i play with them, i make food for them and i look out for them. but i am not. not completely anyway... i am often sneaking looks on my phone or trying to tidy the kitchen, hang the washing up or run a cloth around the bath.  i am always thinking about things i could be doing... or should be doing.

this weekend was going to be tough. i am a self confessed, phone addict. i am. and i hate it.

so i paid for the holiday and started to pack as we were heading off the next morning. bright and early.

i was looking forward to the challenge, to be honest, to see if i could be the parent, i so want to be. and do you know what, i did it... and i enjoyed it. okay, so i checked my phone once. okay, twice. but for 98 percent of the time, i was there with them.  i was there digging in the sand with them. i was there when we were pretending to be bears in the woods by the tent. i was there as we splashed in the rock pools.  i was even there when i was feeding my little man down for the night. & this is a big one as i tend to use this quiet, sleepy time to catch up with my texts and emails from the day. i dont feel great admitting that. but it is true, i am on my phone while i feed my baby to sleep.

but not in the tent. here i watched him feeding, i watched him get drowsy and i watched his little eyes fluttering closed. i saw him fall into a deep sleep and i lay there with him and i held him close. and i loved it. i love him.

then i climbed in to the big double bed, quirkily set into a cupboard,
with my little girl and just lay there with her as she fell asleep. another thing i have not done in a long, long time. i usually rush out to get my 'me' time. to get the telly on. to get the biccies out and the kettle on.

and then with the candles lit and the log stove burning (yes, this was a pretty delux tent!) my husband and i went outside and sat and watched the sun set over the dunes and the tide changing under the stars.

no bad kids?

whenever i try to explain my parenting methods, i find it almost impossible to fight my corner.  my baby brain makes it so hard for me to think clearly enough to give a decent answer!

i want to say -
i am not a walk over parent who doesn't discipline her children or teach them right from wrong. 
i am not letting my kids run wild and rule the roost.
i am teaching them all of the above, respectfully. 

i try to talk to my daughter about everything, if she is having a hard time with a task, game or activity, i talk her through it and offer my help if she wants it.  i don't swoop in and do it for her.  if she is having a meltdown, i sit down with her and hold her until she is ready to talk to me and we work it out together.  tantrums are part of growing up and not necessarily a negative thing.  toddlers have these huge emotions that they don't understand... it must be so overwhelming for them.  so surely withdrawing affection as a form of discipline teaches them that our love is conditional?  it is not wrong to feel emotions, it is not wrong to cry - we all need to cry sometimes.  instead of leaving them to work out their scary emotions themselves, should we not instead help them to understand them?  i struggle to explain this without sounding patronising or critical but i really believe that children are not purposefully 'bad', negative behaviour is almost always a cry for help - a need to sleep, hunger or a need for limits.  using the naughty step, cry it out or the removal of toys or privileges when a child 'acts out' can really only create resentment and distrust as well as making the child feel shame or guilt.

often i see parents use the naughty step or other such threats at the smallest things and it makes me feel kind of sad... and this may seem harsh but it is almost like they are saying, ah, you are angry but please do it quietly over there so i don't have to see it.  these children are only little for such a short time so why not make that time fun, positive and happy? why stress the small stuff? 

so, i implore... enjoy this time as much as possible and trust your child or children to learn the lessons of life on their own - just as they learn to talk and walk in their own time.

upcycling and vintage chic

i love all things vintage, all things home made and all things crafty. lets be honest here, who doesn't? well, probably a fair few folk, but not me! so when leafing through last weeks sunday paper, i happened upon a feature about vintage wallpaper and fabric and ways to upcycle them around the house. weeeellll, did i not just die and go to heaven right there and then. i panicked a little as i had fears of the small people in my house wakening and ruining my moment... just five minutes little ones, mama needs just five minutes. i have saved it for future perusal, but for those five minutes, i poured over the pages eyes agog at all the lovely ideas! ahhhh, where will this feature take me i wander.  just as soon as i get a few spare hours in the day i am going to get cracking on those ideas.... just watch this space...

birthday girl

well, poppy turned two last week and to celebrate we had a few friends over to play... 20 to be exact! yikes!
I made a delicious carrot cake with pink sprinkles and some blueberry muffins, rocky road (for the grown ups!) star shaped sandwiches and other snacks and tasty treats. a stressful day or two to organise but well worth it to see her playing with her buddies... albeit primarily playing side by side with them instead of 'together'.

lots of food was eaten, plenty of toys unwrapped and tea drunk (again... the grown ups!)

needless to say it was a lot of fun and poppy treated us to a two hour nap that afternoon to recover!

bed time stories and making memories

almost two years ago, i found this lovely ferm cot mobile for my brand new baby and bought it immediately! she still loves it to this day so was worth every penny! the mobile came with it's own little story which is so lovely i thought i would share it here...

once upon at time, there was a little bird that lived in a bird cage.  everyday, the little bird would look out the birdcage and see a huge tree that grew bigger and bigger.  the little bird wanted nothing more than to fly up to the very top of the tree, because the bird was sure that from way up there he would be able to see the whole world.  
next to the tree was a little house and in that house lived a little boy.  one day, the little boy was climbing the tree, when all of a sudden he heard the little bird tweeting from the bird cage.  the little boy waved at the bird and said 'hi little nice bird - i really wish that you could see the amazing view from up here.  i can see the whole world.  
when the boy climbed down the tree he noticed that there was a little key hanging from underneath the bird cage.  the boy took the key and unlocked the door to the bird cage.  as soon as the door opened, the little bird flew out of the cage and straight to the top of the tree.  and just as the little bird had imagined, it could see the whole world from up there.  now the little bird had everything it wanted and it lived happily ever after.

it has long been chewed and destroyed but it remains in my head from night after night when i would read the story to my new born baby staring up at me.

i love those little memories we have... usually both very sleepy after a long feed and staring at each other in the light of the moon, streaming in through our bedroom window.  all very distant now however, as she seems to never stop for a moment. talking and singing, counting and laughing... a non stop little whirlwind of happiness.  making plenty of new memories now.  my not so little girl.

there was another amazing cot mobile that i came across, one so beautiful i still think about it to this very day... like a guilty secret or a 'bit on the side'... maybe for number two? i heart all things klt so will blog more about their fabulous prints at another time... keep your peepers peeled...

a letter to my bear

dear poppy,
 
today you are 22 months old.  i wanted to write you this letter for you to look back on and remember the amazing little girl that you are.   you are becoming the funniest and kindest little person, i could ever have imagined. you are singing songs with me and doing all the actions, you are signing and speaking so well that we are able to have conversations and talk about our day together.  yesterday i bought you your first pants... you were so happy to have them that you wouldn't let go so that the cashier could scan them! then when we got home, you put them on all by yourself, one after the other.  i was so proud as you said 'thank you mummy' and toddled off to play wearing seven pairs of pants! your dad and i laughed at how clever and sweet you are.

you told your daddy as he left for work 'bye bye daddy, see you in the morning!' and you say 'night night bugs bed bite' at bed time.  you make me so happy and proud everyday.

thank you

lots of love and cuddles

mum xxx