whenever i try to explain my parenting methods, i find it almost impossible to fight my corner. my baby brain makes it so hard for me to think clearly enough to give a decent answer!
i want to say -
i am not a walk over parent who doesn't discipline her children or teach them right from wrong.
i am not letting my kids run wild and rule the roost.
i am teaching them all of the above, respectfully.
i try to talk to my daughter about everything, if she is having a hard time with a task, game or activity, i talk her through it and offer my help if she wants it. i don't swoop in and do it for her. if she is having a meltdown, i sit down with her and hold her until she is ready to talk to me and we work it out together. tantrums are part of growing up and not necessarily a negative thing. toddlers have these huge emotions that they don't understand... it must be so overwhelming for them. so surely withdrawing affection as a form of discipline teaches them that our love is conditional? it is not wrong to feel emotions, it is not wrong to cry - we all need to cry sometimes. instead of leaving them to work out their scary emotions themselves, should we not instead help them to understand them? i struggle to explain this without sounding patronising or critical but i really believe that children are not purposefully 'bad', negative behaviour is almost always a cry for help - a need to sleep, hunger or a need for limits. using the naughty step, cry it out or the removal of toys or privileges when a child 'acts out' can really only create resentment and distrust as well as making the child feel shame or guilt.
often i see parents use the naughty step or other such threats at the smallest things and it makes me feel kind of sad... and this may seem harsh but it is almost like they are saying, ah, you are angry but please do it quietly over there so i don't have to see it. these children are only little for such a short time so why not make that time fun, positive and happy? why stress the small stuff?
so, i implore... enjoy this time as much as possible and trust your child or children to learn the lessons of life on their own - just as they learn to talk and walk in their own time.