it's been a while...

it has been months since i sat down and wrote anything, far less published it.  i guess i kind of lost the momentum of taking time to put things down... i lost the urge to take the time for me.

so, with a quiet house and a cosy blanket on my knees, i am finally getting back into it...

what have i been doing with my time? it's actually pretty hard to say {as most stay at home/work at home mums can often be heard muttering} i go about my daily routine {or lack of it}

we get up
we play
we eat breakfast
i clear up, put a wash on {or not}
get dressed {or not}
get the 2yr old and the almost 5yr old out of the door to walk the dog
make it as far as the end of the park
walk back
lunch
nursery run
2yr old takes a nap
housework/work on the computer/make telephone calls/watch mind numbing daytime tv {delete as appropriate}
2yr old wakes up
nursery run
tea
play for a bit
bath or a bit more playing
stories... lots and lots of stories
bed for small people
tv/computer/tidy up
bed for adults

you see... not much... but yet so much.

dear fergus

hello wee guy! you are 18 months and 3 weeks old and have become the most charismatic and cute little person! you say daddy, mama, poppy and lily with such clarity and sing us songs and give us amazing hugs and blow us kisses... your big white teeth are really coming in and you smile with an intensity and so freely that it's hard not to smile back. at bedtime you ask to go 'upstairs', you say 'grandpa', 'up', 'please', 'more', 'eat', 'car' and 'duck duck'. when you dance you press one ear to your shoulder and spin around. and when you get mad you are so hard to console, you feel things so wholeheartedly. and that's okay because that is who you are; you are sensitive and emotional, playful and charming. you are cheeky and adventurous, caring and empathetic.
our daily routine revolves around poppys nursery drop off but you don't seem to mind. you spend your days immersed in play, chasing your big sister and your best friend, the dog! you love poppys 'big baby', books and your pull along dog. you love to sing and can sing twinkly twinkle, happy birthday (which sounds more like happy daddy!) and the chorus to golden slumber!
fergus, we love you and cant wait to watch you grow into the man you are going to be.

mothers day craft!

bath bombs

i found this great blog the other day with some inspirational crafts... this one really stood out for many reasons... seasonal, kid friendly. mum friendly! can't go wrong :)

it was so easy to do with the kids and acted as a great sensory/messy play activity! but best of all, the ingredients were all in the cupboard! so here's how...

mix two cups bicarbonate of soda and one cup cream of tartar with a splash of oil and a few sprays of water. then add a small handful of dried lavender and another of dried chamomile (i used the contents of a tea bag)
mix until it holds together when pressed - you may need a few more squeezes of oil or sprays of water.
press into a silicone ice cube tray and leave for a few days... the longer you leave them the harder they go!

as i was giving these as a gift i made up some baskets (string/twine soaked in glue and wrapped around a small balloon, leave to dry and pop balloon!)

i loved these so much i made a second batch but added a drop of beetroot juice to colour it and stored them in this lovely jar in the bathroom!

there is nothing nasty in these so they are suitable for kids and adults! i am going to look out some fun animal or robot shaped moulds and make up a batch for the next party bags!

five days, five meals, one packet of mince... really.

i bought a pound of mince from the local butchers and for the first time ever, i meal planned. properly.

i always, always make a huge batch of something and freeze portions. always have done. always will. it makes me feel frugal. and thrifty. and housewife-y!
but this week was different. this week i made a big batch of mince and made five meals out of it. yes. FIVE.

here's how i did it...

i browned the mince with some onions, garlic and oil. put half of it into another pan.  i added chopped carrots, mushrooms, courgette and a red pepper to both and to one i added two tins of chopped tomatoes to one and some tomato puree.

meal one - mince and tatties ~ add baked beans to the left overs and cover with mash potato in a casserole dish to make meal two - cottage pie.

meal three - spaghetti bolognaise

meal four - add chili powder and kidney beans to the the left over spag bol mince and hey presto we have chili con carne {add rice}

meal five - add all the left overs from meal two and meal four together with some cooked fusilli {any pasta would do though}

now, we are a family of four. four big eaters. and this was plenty of food! okay, so i bulked it up with lots of veg, chopped tomatoes and i added potatoes, rice and spaghetti {and a sneaky garlic baguette or two} but i still managed to feed the entire house {except the dog} a home cooked, evening meal for five nights. wholesome? i think so!

knitted dungers...

I posted a while back about knitting my wee guy a pair of dungarees... i finished them! actually, i finished them AGES ago but alas they were a tad too small :( so i started again and am pretty much finished this pair now too.

... but also a little worried that the length of time that has passed {months} these may too, not fit!

knitting nights

so the little folk are currently sleeping 7-7 {or there abouts} and husband and i have reclaimed our evenings! 

wandering what to do with myself, instead of watching big brother or getting re hooked onto home and away... i have taken on a knitting challenge! 

about a month or so ago i found ravelry... then i found these go-veralls and promptly fell head over heels... well, bit of an exaggeration there... but they are d'lish.

so i bought some wool and a some circular needles and hey presto we have two legs -

 will post an update as they 'grow' but i am super excited to get the wee guy in these... not too girly right??

no bad kids?

whenever i try to explain my parenting methods, i find it almost impossible to fight my corner.  my baby brain makes it so hard for me to think clearly enough to give a decent answer!

i want to say -
i am not a walk over parent who doesn't discipline her children or teach them right from wrong. 
i am not letting my kids run wild and rule the roost.
i am teaching them all of the above, respectfully. 

i try to talk to my daughter about everything, if she is having a hard time with a task, game or activity, i talk her through it and offer my help if she wants it.  i don't swoop in and do it for her.  if she is having a meltdown, i sit down with her and hold her until she is ready to talk to me and we work it out together.  tantrums are part of growing up and not necessarily a negative thing.  toddlers have these huge emotions that they don't understand... it must be so overwhelming for them.  so surely withdrawing affection as a form of discipline teaches them that our love is conditional?  it is not wrong to feel emotions, it is not wrong to cry - we all need to cry sometimes.  instead of leaving them to work out their scary emotions themselves, should we not instead help them to understand them?  i struggle to explain this without sounding patronising or critical but i really believe that children are not purposefully 'bad', negative behaviour is almost always a cry for help - a need to sleep, hunger or a need for limits.  using the naughty step, cry it out or the removal of toys or privileges when a child 'acts out' can really only create resentment and distrust as well as making the child feel shame or guilt.

often i see parents use the naughty step or other such threats at the smallest things and it makes me feel kind of sad... and this may seem harsh but it is almost like they are saying, ah, you are angry but please do it quietly over there so i don't have to see it.  these children are only little for such a short time so why not make that time fun, positive and happy? why stress the small stuff? 

so, i implore... enjoy this time as much as possible and trust your child or children to learn the lessons of life on their own - just as they learn to talk and walk in their own time.

early nights and crafty creations

i have been beavering away since my evenings have been drawing out... all thanks to my perfect little man who has learnt to fall asleep all by himself.  such a clever boy.

i decided to make him a sleep inducing cot mobile of hypnotic slow twisting and turning images filled with lavender...  this is it. i love it.

he loves it too.  he gazes at it as he falls asleep and chats and laughs away with his new owl friends when he wakes in the morning.  how much do i love the sound of a baby laughing? very much.

so i decided to sell them... i really need to perfect my sewing skills a bit and perhaps tweak bits here and there but i think lots of little newborn boys and girls would be fascinated by the bold black and white owls and the colourful patterns.

hope you like my new shop :)  etsy

it went down a treat with my not so wee girl too... she loved watching them... but then she loves owls! so for her birthday, i made her a plush version (also with toddler calming lavender)

chaos and contingency plans

months and months have passed, night after night of walking the floor with my wee man, long snoozy hours of night feeds and web browsing under the covers... i have been thinking alot about my children, a lot about how i parent them and even more about the effect i have on them and their futures.  it's a big thought.

i have been so tired, so so tired.  i love the sleepy dark feeds and the tiny fingers reaching up to my face.  i love the small sighs and snuffles of a sleeping child.  i am torn between cherishing every moment with them and the need to be me again.

in an attempt to gain some sort of control over things, i have been sleep training - i even hate using the words, but i just needed to get some sleep... or at least more than 2 hours in a row.  it's working, we got 9 hours last night! ahhhh the feeling of waking naturally and hearing a sleeping baby stirring across the room.  now after plenty of well meaning advice and tips we took the road less travelled - the gentle way.  there was no cry it out or controlled crying and there was no leaving him to figure it out on his own.  i mean how could we? this little guy spent 9 months being rocked to sleep in my tummy and another 5 being held, fed or carried to sleep - we could hardly just switch it on him. so we remained respectful and present, we helped him learn to fall asleep all by himself... it was hard... oh was it hard. and it still is. but it has been worth it - 40 minute naps to one and a half hours AND waking every hour and a half at night to sleeping 7-9 hours at a stretch.  how amazing our little boy is, so amazing.

i try to do this with poppy, who turned three last month... three.  how the time has flown. it is totally okay to cry, it's okay if mum and dad cries - and oh does mum cry! and it's okay to feel emotions, it's okay.
toddlers are at a tricky stage of their lives, so many emotions, so many feelings and not enough words or understanding to express them.
feeling as tired as i have and as frustrated at my chaotic life at the moment, i have been reallly struggling to keep all this in mind.  i have shouted and i have lost my patience... far too often.  but we snuggle up at night and we talk... we go over what happened that day (good or bad) and we help each other understand it all. no matter what we are all here for each other... when the going gets tough... 

being a parent is hard.  it is worth it but it is so, so hard.

sleep thiefs

so it has been a while since i blogged anything and this is primarily due to the fact that there are not enough hours in the day... not if i want to sleep anyway!  a newborn is tiring, yes. a newborn who snacks every 2 hours or so and a feisty toddler is... well... it's... hard work! but so great at the same time!

i feel incredibly overwhelmed sometimes - mostly at how relentless it all is! but also at how blessed i am... we are. i mean these little folk are just amazing, adorable, gorgeous and so so precious. blub blub. post pregnancy hormones. check.

i do really love the little sleep stealing monsters.

so just a short post to check in - with myself more than anything.

i have been going craft crazy lately so will post more about that soon...

one toddler and one (not so) teeny tiny baby

well, here he is... baby number two... fergus.

i cant believe how much i love him already - although i should have already been aware of this from baby number one... poppy.  oh how i loved her from the moment i saw her!

he is so like her but yet so different... they look the same when i look back at photos of poppy but he is very much a boy and with finer features. he is so laid back... so far. and she was so cross all the time!

poppy has really taken to the wee guy (as she calls him) and is loving helping out with bath time and nappy changes.  i feel privileged to have such an amazing and caring little girl as poppy - to see how she has adapted to his arrival and how she is coping so well, makes me so proud!  she has her moments of course, and the toilet training has gone to pot (so to speak!) but that was all expected and anticipated well in advance. we are working through it together - with the help of some stickers and a potty train! ha! the reward chart... one thing i thought i would never do. needs must.

so how did fergus arrive into this world... quickly! i am all emotional about how amazing the birth was after having such a tough time of it first time round.  poppy took days to come, i only managed to stay in the pool for a few hours and ended up being induced, having my waters broken and getting an epidural... this time it was over in only five hours (from the first contraction) he was born in the water using a bit of gas and air and homeopathy. he did get stuck a bit as he was a whopping 9lbs 9oz... but the water made it all so bearable and relaxed. there was a moment, just before i started pushing, where i thought i couldnt do it, that i wanted to go to labour ward and get any drugs going. but i did it and am overwhelmed and proud of myself and of fergus...and of sam, my husband, who helped me though it.

so, now the adventure begins.  mamma of two.

cotton wool, one knitted square and some thread.

ahhhh, i just had to share this amazingly simple and gorgeous crafty find of mine...

oh so lovely!

and here is one of the little critters, hanging out for some snack -

i decided to make these late one night as i have a huge - and i mean huge - stash of knitted squares.  you see, i have been patch working them together to make a cosy blanket for number two arriving in a few months. so wandering what to do with all these extra squares, i immediately took to google.

adding my own take on the little fellas, i added some lavender to the stuffing - my trademark scent... i am sure i use more lavender than is really necessary!
i think these would make a lovely new baby gift - must remember to post about my home made lavender baby powder that was last years new baby gift!

during my internet trawlings i found so many lovely crafty creations that my next project has to be some amigurumi... but first i have to learn to crochet!

easy peasy bread

well, my little munchkin and i decided to make a loaf of bread this morning and i came across this super duper recipe that was so easy and quick that we had it proving within the hour! so not as much time killed as i had hoped but good messy fun all the same!

this is it, served up with poppys soup (also home made!) for lunch.

so here it is... i will also outline it on here to make it even easier -

mix 500g strong white flour in a bowl with 2 tsp of salt and 7gs of fast acting yeast in a sachet. then make a well and add 3 tbsp olive oil and 300ml water and combine to make the dough... then kneed for as long as your little ones arms can manage - preferably until it is satin smooth!

leave it in a warm place for an hour in a lightly oiled bowl to rise (or overnight in the fridge is good as it makes it taste nicer!)

give it a bit of a knock about then shape it and put it on some baking paper and leave to prove for an hour to rise again.

cross the top with a sharp knife and bake for 25-30 mins in a preheated oven at 220C...

voila! delicious!

this is one that is going to appear on the breakfast table a lot in future! 

i love being a mum.

yes, sometimes it feels like it's the hardest job in the world but it is also the most rewarding and satisfying job i have ever done... it's not even a job, in fact.  it's my life now.

today as i sit in the sun listening to my 26 month old daughter sing the entire alphabet perfectly as she dances around the garden i am filled with the most amount of pride and love and happiness... i am overwhelmed by it sometimes.

i made this.

and i am in the process of growing another! and what will this new person be like?

taking care of my daughter at home has never felt to me like a chore or something i have to do, i do get the odd off day where i wish i could just go and do what i wanted to do for once... by myself!  but more often than not i feel privileged to be a part of this little girls life, to help her become a person and to help her learn about who she is and about growing up...  i feel very under qualified a lot of the time, but she never fails to show me otherwise with her sense of humour, her intelligence and understanding and her ability to show so much love and care for everything around her.  she is an absolute amazement to me.  every day.


i feel anxious about having a second child, nervous about the chaos that will surely envelop us - even more so than now!  i feel worried that i wont be able to give them each the time and love they deserve.  but i also am filled with excitement and wonder at the challenges ahead, the joy that poppy brings me each day is about to be doubled.

and how can that not be a good thing?

crafty little things

i have been a busy sewing bee again lately... making a new blanket for the little baby in my tummy, out of knitted squares - should be interesting to see how that pans out! its a bit 'different'.  and cross stitching some name plaques for some of poppys little pals -

it is definitely something i love doing and giving, although a lot more practice is needed as my crosses are not as perfect as i would like... but is that not the point of handmade? the fact that you can tell it's hand made? i'll just keep telling myself that, i think! ...i have a few orders waiting too, so they can't be all that bad!?!

so apart from that, i have to get back into poppys 'book' - so far we have photos and keepsakes from birth to about 6 months!! she is now 2 ... so a fair bit of work to do on that! oops!

and a slide-show of images for my mothers 70th ...which was last year ...but better late than never, right?  i make every intention to do these lovely things, but find time just isn't with me on this!

on top of all this we are in the midst of our busiest time at the studio and are pulling late nighters all over the place. i am tired. i fell asleep in front of one of channel 5s afternoon movies yesterday and woke to hear poppy singing away in her cot - who knows how long she'd been awake for! i guess if she'd been up a while i would have known about it... after all she doesn't normally 'beat about the bush' for anything!

we have baby number two on the way and at almost the half way mark i am starting to think about how our lives are about to change.  ok, so you have one child, what difference will another make? well, A LOT! two little people to get ready in the morning, two little people to coax along on our morning walk with the dog, two little people to convince to go to bed... TWO.

when i got pregnant i think i had clearly forgotten what having a newborn was like... lack of sleep, continual feeds and nappy changes... watching poppy playing and seeing the amazing little person that she has become, always reminds me that it is all worth it... totally and completely.

and was it all that bad? or did i just feel so overwhelmed by this new life that everything seemed so hard? maybe this time around (safe in the knowledge that the two hourly feeds will turn into three hourly and four hourly... and that the night waking does end) i can enjoy it more, make the most of each day and cherish it. maybe this time around i wont be so hung up on 'doing it right'.

or maybe i will, after all, i am a mother now... will we ever feel that what we do for our children is enough?

spots, spots and more spots.

we are on our way out of the spotty itchy hell that is chicken pox... it took just over a week but we are finally able to get out and about and do stuff again! now, as anyone who reads my blog will know - i like to get out and about! so for the last ten days we have been walking the dog, planting in the garden, baking and nipping to tescos in hats and scarves to disguise the pox!

i was getting very close to staring out of the window and rocking... but i survived it! and most important of all - poppy survived it.

she has amazed me this week with her bravery and her patience. don't get me wrong - it wasn't all sweetness and light in quarantine... it got a bit hairy at points - i think we saw more tantrums in two days than i have seen in her little life time!?! but, with only one sleepless night and one nap-less day we made it to scabs-ville.
and we have pretty much nailed the old potty training too - wont speak too soon on that though as i am pretty sure i am about to destroy it all with my out and about day of fun planned for tomorrow...

mummy badges of honor

children have a sixth sense when spotting mummys, a friend recently told me that, one day, when she went to pick up her little boy from nursery, a group of his friends came running over to her saying 'a mummy, a mummy!'

we must give off some sort of stench... perhaps dried milk/weetabix/yogurt that has been smeared, dropped or thrown at us throughout the day. perhaps its our trouser's worn knees or the dark circles around our eyes. it could even be that we still rock gently from foot to foot while waiting in a queue or standing at the bus stop.  whatever it is, we are pretty easy to spot...

one of my worst moments as a new mum was this -
i had finally managed to get out of the house - keys, change bag, nappies, wipes, pram, 2 wk old baby... check.  i arrived at my very first mother and baby group and although i felt like i was back at my first day of school, i ventured over to join in.  i had a lovely afternoon chatting with all the other new mums (who had all felt the same on their first day out) and showing off my brand new baby girl... i felt great walking home, i mean from day one i had been out and about - mainly as i have to walk the dog every morning but this was like a real achievement.  when i got in i glanced in the mirror... one eye had full makeup and the other, not a bit! and i had a delightful chocolate moustache from my decaf mocha.

tears and more tears

poppy lasted all of twenty minutes at the creche today before i was called to come and get her.  she was in tears and became inconsolable the minute she saw me.
it is so unlike her, she is usually quite the socialite that barely gives mum a second glance in play situations... she is really more a daddy's girl anyway so i am very used to getting the cold shoulder.  (whenever it is just the two of us, she treats me like i am the only person in the world that matters and i know she loves me!)
but even upon seeing her daddy today she clung to me like a limpet and would not leave my side. 
now she wasn't cross with me as she forgave me almost instantly but i feel sad that i broke her trust a little today...

bed time stories and making memories

almost two years ago, i found this lovely ferm cot mobile for my brand new baby and bought it immediately! she still loves it to this day so was worth every penny! the mobile came with it's own little story which is so lovely i thought i would share it here...

once upon at time, there was a little bird that lived in a bird cage.  everyday, the little bird would look out the birdcage and see a huge tree that grew bigger and bigger.  the little bird wanted nothing more than to fly up to the very top of the tree, because the bird was sure that from way up there he would be able to see the whole world.  
next to the tree was a little house and in that house lived a little boy.  one day, the little boy was climbing the tree, when all of a sudden he heard the little bird tweeting from the bird cage.  the little boy waved at the bird and said 'hi little nice bird - i really wish that you could see the amazing view from up here.  i can see the whole world.  
when the boy climbed down the tree he noticed that there was a little key hanging from underneath the bird cage.  the boy took the key and unlocked the door to the bird cage.  as soon as the door opened, the little bird flew out of the cage and straight to the top of the tree.  and just as the little bird had imagined, it could see the whole world from up there.  now the little bird had everything it wanted and it lived happily ever after.

it has long been chewed and destroyed but it remains in my head from night after night when i would read the story to my new born baby staring up at me.

i love those little memories we have... usually both very sleepy after a long feed and staring at each other in the light of the moon, streaming in through our bedroom window.  all very distant now however, as she seems to never stop for a moment. talking and singing, counting and laughing... a non stop little whirlwind of happiness.  making plenty of new memories now.  my not so little girl.

there was another amazing cot mobile that i came across, one so beautiful i still think about it to this very day... like a guilty secret or a 'bit on the side'... maybe for number two? i heart all things klt so will blog more about their fabulous prints at another time... keep your peepers peeled...