Wednesday, 25 September 2013
log fires and beds in cupboards
for the last few months it has been, pretty much, work, work, work. seven days a week. working late into the night. we needed a break. the kids needed a break. it was a last minute decision: nothing booked into the diary, fair weather forecast and the surf was up! so i did it. i booked two nights in a luxury tent on the dunes of the east coast of scotland. no electric, no tv and most importantly... no laptop!
i like to think that when i am at home with the kids i am completely present with them. i play with them, i make food for them and i look out for them. but i am not. not completely anyway... i am often sneaking looks on my phone or trying to tidy the kitchen, hang the washing up or run a cloth around the bath. i am always thinking about things i could be doing... or should be doing.
this weekend was going to be tough. i am a self confessed, phone addict. i am. and i hate it.
so i paid for the holiday and started to pack as we were heading off the next morning. bright and early.
i was looking forward to the challenge, to be honest, to see if i could be the parent, i so want to be. and do you know what, i did it... and i enjoyed it. okay, so i checked my phone once. okay, twice. but for 98 percent of the time, i was there with them. i was there digging in the sand with them. i was there when we were pretending to be bears in the woods by the tent. i was there as we splashed in the rock pools. i was even there when i was feeding my little man down for the night. & this is a big one as i tend to use this quiet, sleepy time to catch up with my texts and emails from the day. i dont feel great admitting that. but it is true, i am on my phone while i feed my baby to sleep.
but not in the tent. here i watched him feeding, i watched him get drowsy and i watched his little eyes fluttering closed. i saw him fall into a deep sleep and i lay there with him and i held him close. and i loved it. i love him.
then i climbed in to the big double bed, quirkily set into a cupboard,
with my little girl and just lay there with her as she fell asleep. another thing i have not done in a long, long time. i usually rush out to get my 'me' time. to get the telly on. to get the biccies out and the kettle on.
and then with the candles lit and the log stove burning (yes, this was a pretty delux tent!) my husband and i went outside and sat and watched the sun set over the dunes and the tide changing under the stars.